Having Vs. Hoping
It is the beginning of the New Year and I can feel myself filled with excitement and anticipation. I am filled with a whole year of blank canvass in which to paint, create and cause. There is so much that I am looking forward to and hoping for.
Hoping. Let’s talk about that word.
Hoping… It is a familiar feeling and one that we have all felt and know well. And as soon as I say it, the initial sense of delight is quickly replaces by an immediate sense of regret and dread. ‘Hope’, ‘hoping’, ‘hopeful’.
No matter how you slice it or say it, the truth is ‘hoping’ makes no difference. In fact I actually think it can be counterproductive, and even in opposition to, what it is one really wants. What is really going on behind the hoping is the desire for having that item/person/experience/accomplishment. We usually always hope for things that we actually want to have.
Hoping energy is one of excitement, thrill, wide-eyed wonder and being ecstatic. All of these are great feelings that are important and necessary. ‘Hoping’ and the feelings that go with it offer a wide range of benefits in its own right.
Having energy is different. It is usually a bit more mundane, natural, regular, hum drum and even cavalier. Usually when we already ‘have’ something it usually occurs as “no big deal”.
For example: If you own a red sweater you don’t normally go around ‘hoping’ for one. You may ‘hope’ for a new or different kind of red sweater, but usually you are not hoping for or yearning for another red sweater exactly the same as the one you already have.
Think of any other thing that you already have. Do you walk around hoping for it? Probably not.
If you are already in a relationship you are usually not hoping for a partner. (You may hope for a new or different partner, but you don’t hope for being in a relationship).
If you look, you can see that we don’t ‘hope’ for things we have. Thus, if we are ‘hoping’ for it, we are also simultaneously saying that “we don’t have that’.
To be rigorous with my speaking, me saying or even feeling ‘hopeful’ about something, actually implies that I am subconsciously telling myself that it is something that I don’t have right now.
You can never ‘hope’ for something you ‘have’.
In the same vein, one cannot/does not usually have something that they are hoping for.
‘Having’ and ‘hoping’ are, in a sense, mutually exclusive. Subconsciously in your brain, they both cannot exist at the same time for the same thing.
Hope keeps the object of your attention elusive and out of reach, because it is saying “I don’t have it right now”. Having energy requires the knowing that it is “already in your possession”
The trick then is to smear ‘having’ energy/thinking onto ‘hoping’ things.
A few years ago things like vision boards became very popular and were a paltry attempt at creating this. Trying to normalize your dreams in a daily visual cue so that it becomes neutral and sits in the back of our minds as goals for our subconscious.
Placing ‘having’ feelings and emotions on ‘hoping’ items is the best way to normalize the thinking such that you can actually manifest and call forth the actions and way of being that will produce those desired results.
One way to do this is to attach things that you are wanting and desire to very normal, almost mundane, parts or aspects of your day.
Thinking of the dream house every time you turn the door handle of your home, feeling the warmth of your future unknown partner every time you pour yourself a glass of milk from your fridge, or even remembering/visualizing your dream career while brushing your teeth.
During those times when you are feeling neutral – think of the thoughts and things you want so that it is as natural and common as everyday tasks. It is that calmness in your body when associated with those dreams, hopes and goals that will ultimately move it from being in a ‘hopeful’ place of wishful thinking to something you actually ‘have’ real in your life.
This practice is not easy as many of us can’t separate that ‘hopeful’ wanting for something that is currently not in our possession, and though it seems counter intuitive, it is the path to HAVING everything you hope for!